Facts about the Octopus

The octopus (Octopus octopus), part of the -pus family, is a marine-dwelling feline species with large friendly eyes and an (as yet) undetermined number of tentacles.

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No More Short Stories

I spent a better part of a year and a half writing short stories. I published two, was a finalist in a $1500 literary contest, and got a whole pack of rejections. Did it get me anywhere? Well, I think it helped my writing, but did it forward my career? No. Read More »

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Vista is going to be the death of my laptop

Just got a brand-spanking new laptop. Yup, not even a reconditioned (as I’m so apt to do). I bought a Lenovo IdeaPad Y530-3231U. I could give you the stats, but nobody cares. Suffice to say, it’s got a good assortment. Read More »

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Buy my book, damn it

You’ve got problems? Nathaniel solves problems. If you can find him. He doesn’t stay in one place long. Not since what happened in Cresek-Tawn – back when everything went to hell. But he couldn’t hide forever. When the past walked back into his life, he knew it couldn’t have been good. Her name was Jane and he was in a whole lot of trouble. Read More »

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The Dark

From Curse of the Black Swan:
The Dark scratched at the worn, dusty boards. Long, chipped nails. It wanted out. It always wanted out. I kept that damned door in my head locked and chained but that wasn’t much of a comforting thought. The Dark navigated every labyrinth I threw at it, every obstacle that I could to keep it away. No matter how far I ran, it was always there. A robber wanting to hijack the train. I had finally come to accept that the only thing stopping it were those meager locks and that old warped door. Read More »

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My resolutions

Every year, I like to post my goals. Well, 2008 was an especially craptacular year, so I’d like to say that I probably didn’t hit any of my goals. Let’s take a look, shall we?

1. Sell this damn house. Yeah, not happening. No one wants the house. Funny story — I guess if you stop paying your mortgage for 9 months, the bank STILL won’t come and take the freaking thing. I literally, cannot even give it away.

2. Find House Good news. I found a house. It’s called my Mom’s basement. Mission accomplished. Ack.

3. Build Wood Working Shop. Mom said no.

4. Buy Table Saw And I’d put it where?

5. Continue my recent publication success It was a bad year. I placed in a $1500 writing contest, but that’s about it. And it’s not like I wasn’t trying. Came close many times, but never succeeded. Balls!

6. Land an agent . Whatever.

These are my goals for 2009:

1) lead a boring, run of the mill life.

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Ultimate Rejection Letter

How I wish I could send this back to the countless agents that keep rejecting me… Read More »

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Snow-maggedon, my ass

If you call a winter storm Snow-maggedon, there had better be 5 feet of snow in two hours, with people buried alive in their cars, with monsters rising up from the sheets of white, with loved ones becoming murderous fiends in the insanity of the never-ending snow.

I don’t want 10cms. 10cms is lame. 10cms is called flurries.

Schools have been shut down.

Police are advising people to stay home.

Flights can be rebooked free of charge.

Viarail is predicting wait times.

And it’s all a joke. All because some guy at Environment Canada has been waiting to use his special word. Snow-maggedon. How long has he been sitting on that word, waiting to unleash it? Did he hear that word from a fellow lies-network anchor down in the States? Did it come to him one feverish night while drinking too much absinthe while on his back porch?

But it’s been a powerful word because everyone is freaking out.

However, if anyone has unearthed a crazed snow-tribe, or butchered their former hair dressers out of sheer madness…I will take it all back.

Until that time: Today’s Weather…flurries. Expect 10-15cms of snow.

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No excuse to not not vote

Hilarious.

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Coldplay vs Joe Satriani

It’s hard to say whether Coldplay purposefully copied Joe Satriani’s ‘If I could Fly’ in their song ‘Viva La Vida’. Now, ole Satch there would never join up with Coldplay (nor would I bet they want him to) but listen to the clip below. When the two songs are combined…well, the results are pretty spectacular.

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